Monday, March 30, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage: Leadership and Salvation Before and Current



After a big problem came to the life of man, man's lineage was shifted to the snake-evil domain called devil.

But the Origin of creations did not give up His Original Plan and man's purpose of life.

Man's failure was pronunced as death, meaning man's separation from God. Man's physical life and spiritual life were both shifted to Satan. Hence, salvation of man should also be both spiritual and physical in a sense.

Jesus coming was like parent's plan to bring his sick children to the doctor for restoration or the so called salvation. In a sense, God has been aiming to send the messiah or savior since Adam's era. But it takes 4000 biblical years from Adam to the time of Abraham to Moses to Jesus to make this salvation plan implemented. Why that long? Why too long for the doctor, the saviour to come and serve his mission to give salvation to man?

Noah built the ark long time before there was a flood. A time identity can be seen as the providence is not in a snap but have several conditions and pre-requisites to make a foundation. There is a time management in this sense.

Jesus physical life is meant to give a physical salvation, a true lineage of man centering on God. As he was not accepted by the Jewish people, his physical life was at risk. As he was crucified, his body could not give physical salvation nor be a start of a new lineage of man but his soul separated in his time of death. His spirit made a spiritual salvation to Christian followers.

Nevertheless, we still see many crimes and sinfullness in history and today. Why? These are proofs of the absence of complete salvation. Man has a portion of responsibility to fulfill as salvation is not a spoon-fed providence of salvation.

Looking at the Philippine scenario in today's era, Philippines is in a crucial time identity in the providence. JDV and GMA are in political war. Villar is facing many presidentiables for 2010. And this latest, Fr. Among Ed Panlilio, a Catholic priest on-leave or suspended to do his priestly duties and the concurrent governor of Pampanga is aiming to lead as convenor for 2010 presidential candidate if not he himself will run.

Why a priest? Among Ed is a typical example of a non-traditional politician in his way of leading Pampanga as the current governor there. He is opposed by the legislative and other oppositionists but he prevails. His first months of collections in the quarry projects served as good evidence of the failure and corruption of past leaders. Bro. Eddie Velarde's ambition too is also another mushroom from the religious figure to political figures.

The separation of church and state in the constitution is now seemingly a non-binding article. But if we look at this closely, there is an obvious reason why politics is challenged by church figures this time.

Church is more aligned to moral, ethical and spiritual gears. It is a strong sign that the political figures now are weak in these areas. This can be true as corruption and many other accusations are thrown to the current political and government leaders.

The 2010 national election will bring a new horizon of leadership to Philippines. Next to 2010 is the local election again on 2013. And it is the due date of Rev. and Father Sun Myung Moon in his providential time to have the Chun Il Guek or CIG be established. Philippines has so much things to prepare from 2010 for the national election and the 2013 local elction where government leaders are seen to have a big role in declaring the CIG of Rev. SMM.

Shall we give a look into this scenario?

Perhaps, the local and regional centers, the tribal leaders as well, can do something too if they align all their programs and projects to this par. Is it time to field local candidates and give a hand to government authority from our own breed by now?

Whatever is the vision of the local or regional center, I strongly suggest that this be given a look as UM Philippines is so crazy focusing to GPF rallies leaving no educational curriculum to the local leadership nor a clear program to every center to keep and maintain the momentum of their every rally. Budget is so big in every GPF move, yet, no local government has fully embraced CIG and the like.

The local centers and tribal leaders need to make a consensus as early as possible for the greater good of the providence in their areas.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage: Four Kinds of love



In high school life, the word love is so sensitive. It usually is being misinterpreted as sex. Thus, love and sex are words crushed to the desires of adolescents.

There could be false love and/or true love. False love was the sexual mistake of the first and man and woman who fell. But that is not our main point this time.

There are cases, where mothers who got unwanted pregnancies are not that loving. These single mothers were unprepared and her pregnancy was unplanned, result of pre-marital acts, maybe from rapes, sexual adventures and the like. Hence, these single mothers not mature enough to value or care for her unplanned born baby. In Japan, baby hatch is a drop box in a hospital window, wehre mother can leave her new born baby if she decides to give up her own baby to others who like to adopt the baby. It may be a hospital system or program in that prefecture. But is also show how the Japanese mother value her own child, how she value life, how shallow or premature is her love to give life to her baby. These are facts and domino effects and results of the fall of man.

Of course, parents are both the father and the mother of the child. But obviously, the mother gives more to the baby since conception to the life-risk delivering of the birth of the baby, to lactating responsibility and all other maternal process. Father, aside from the sperm he offered to his wife, has other responsibilities of course but not that close or direct to the baby. He has a different role and responsibility in parenting care.

Ideally, when a baby is born, the immediate kind of love he experienced is the parental love. The mother who embraced him after he was being born, allowing him to suck his mother’s breast for milk even without seeing her yet as the baby still could not see at that stage. It is his instinct and feeling that he has a mother who cares and loves him.

Moreover, father and mother are partners in nursing the baby. If the father works to find a living, his salary maybe so limited that he finds way to tighten his blet from personal expenses so long as he can bring home something for his child/children. During the early days of the infant, the father too used to do the laundry for his baby and his wife as well, cooked the food for the family and clean the house and so on.

When the children grow up, the parents make sure that they have enough budget for the schooling and education of the children for their future. New clothes, bags, shoes and school needs become priorities. Parents sacrifice with their old clothes and limited simple food so long as their children can have something, go to school and prepare for their own future.

This is parental love. Parental love can be shared to others who wants to serve like what a parent does too.

Children’s love is filial piety. The loyalty, obedience, respect, attendance of the children to their parents is a kind of love that also needs to be nurtured starting from their young age up to and beyond his maturity.

I remember my classmate in high school before who observed me giving most of my time only to studies. “Why aim for 90% when 75% is a passing grade?” I meditate on that question by my classmate who teased me to join their fun and barkadahan.

I reflected on the sacrifices of my parents who have seven children going to school in college, high school and elementary those times. I can’t afford to risk my studies giving my time to my classmates while I knew the sacrifices of my parents working hard, tightening their belts, saving money if not borrowing or loaning money for our school fees. Because of these foundation, I and my siblings tried our best to fulfill thier dreams too by studying hard. I wrote a letter to my parents answering the question from my classmate why I aim for 90% when 75% was a passing grade already. It was my way of saying thank you to my parents whose sacrifices and hardwork, whose love and care to all of us were equated to their pains and difficulties. I still dont know what and how to call that attitude of a son towards parents. It was only a practice I did for them.

Children’s love can also be expressed towards, grandparents, aunties and uncles or even to teachers and elders. Like parental love, children’s love is more towards verticality between young ones and elders.

Siblings love is the love of the brothers and sisters between and/or among themselves. Sharing, helping, understanding, teamworking and the like are mores and norms. Extendedly, this kind of love can also be reflected towards friends, playmates, neighbors and classmates.

Social projects like colelcting bottle caps to raise funds to help anybody in need is also an example of siblings love. I remember last school year, the studnet council did the bottle cap collections where each cap is saleable to the recycling industries. Hence, a good fundraising for a good cause.

The last kind of love is the conjugal love. It is the love between the married husband nad wife. I said married as the couples are set to have the blessing of holy marriage and their relationship is God-centered. The husband is for the wife and the wife is for the husband. The two becomes one. Their family names is one. Their house and shelter is set as they are to go to their own home.

The husband’s love is for his wife. His income, his dream, his life is for his wife and family. In like manner, the wife’s lvoe is only for her husband, her dreams, her decisions, her house plan and all the rest has to be aligned to her husband’s. Hence, making a harmonius relationship in their home.

Moreover, their sexual life is exclusively for each other. The husband’s sexual organ is for her wife and vice versa. This conjugal love is exclusive between them as God set in His original plan. In this regard, only the conjugal love between hunband and wife could not be extended but exclusive for them only.

Incest, polygamy, adultery and other related sexual acts are sexual immoralities that go beyond the realm of conjugal love. These must be resolved by keeping the exclusiveness of conjugal love between the husband and wife and nothing more.

Parental love is the most precious love among the four kinds of love . Moreover, conjugal love is the most sensitive and exclusive love for a happy married couple.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage. a testimony on my March and the 21st day of it

March is a month of turning point. School year ends. Contractual teachers may also end up their contracts and job. Graduates are teary grateful and sad to leave their 2nd home, the school and the like.

March was also the birth-month of my deceased Papang, I treasure him. Our family keeps a celebration on his birth anniversary as we honor his life and love to all of us.

This year, the month of to me March is a challenge. I give my prayers and hope to have my contract renewed as an ALT teacher. The challenge is still on as I fight for the renewal of it.

One thing a bit new to me here in Japan was to meet new friends of common skin color last Sunday as I was trying to take time to have a pause when I parked my bike. I noticed three Filipinos who just arrived too with their bikes. I asked, “Pinoy?” And they nodded. I went to greet them and offered my hand to each of them. They are just 6 months in Japan as trainees sent by a Japanese company based in Laguna to Japan. That reminded me on my first months after arrival too in Japan, full of sorrows, pains and challenges. I wished to offer them more orientation on Japan way of life of Filipinos. Hence I invited them to a seminar for Filipino friends we have set dated March 21st in Suwa with Eddie P and Ronie D.

Yesterday, after some phone follow ups, it were Ronald and Raul who could come and they joined us to Suwa. Eddie P has his friends Jing, Mia, and Evelyn too in Suwa. Moreover our Yamanashi friends Jenjen Y together with her husband and a new Korean friend Ms. Ju came. We have a wonderful gathering and have a fellowship lunch with Filipino dishes prepared by the Fil-Jap couples. Our guests were so delighted with the long missed Filipino foods such as pinakbet made by Eddie, humba made by Ronie, Kare-kare with ginisang bagoong, Bopis made by Carmela, pansit made by Jenjen, buko majablanca made by Eddie and others.

After the lunch, Ronie and I inivited them to the lecture area to continue our exchanges more formally. After an introductory message by Ronie D. I was tasked to present a modified view of the Principle for OFWs particularly the Filipinos staying abroad or in Japan. I have to consider my audience who were OFW trainees and the former entertainers too.

The purpose of Life and the Life of married-OFWs was my first emphasis in the presentation. I also presented the root cause of the fall of man with emphasis of family breakdown which was once presented to OFWs by the CBPC Episcopal Commission for Migrant Workers. I also sighted the poor move of the government who just simply offer to migrant workers in the airport an orientation on safe sex by using condoms as they depart as OFWs. They could not attend the case of moral issues of the married Filipino couples but only let them use condoms while they are far from their spouses.

The gospel of Jesus who taught the Jewish people a new way on who will throw the first stone to the caught adulterous woman was a delight to the eyes of the Filipina entertainers. ”Whoever has not committed a sin may throw the first stone for her death.” And in silence, the Jewish people dropped one by one their stones and left the adulterous woman. Jesus said to the woman, “Go and sin no more.”

Comparing this to a government who simple offered the use of condoms for safe sex to departing immigrant workers, two contrasting lifestyles are seen. Jesus taught the woman to go and not to commit adultery anymore is one. The other one is telling the departing Filipinos to use condoms when they are to make sex with others while they are far from their spouses when working abroad as OFWs. It indirectly allows the immgrant workers to commit adultery in a sense with safe sex emphasized.

The explanation of the root cause of the fall of man was clearly presented. The participants were interactive too as they tried to check their lifestyles as OFWs. In short, they understand where they are at and get what the precautionary message is to avoid the fall of man and keep a moral foundation for his family. It is a difficult responsibility to control man’s sexual emotion and desire but God’s ideal plan for each family is so clear.

Ms. Ju, a Korean PLA and a graduate from Sun Moon University also supplemented the presentation with the four kinds of love. She empahiszed the exclusiveness of the conjugal love compared to the other kinds of love. She too has a nice, though brief supplement lecture. She served for three years in the Philippines working in PLA or Pure Love Alliance in Mindanao. She is blessed to marry a Japanese spouse too from Yamanashi, the place of Mr. and Mrs. Jenjen Yamaguchi.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage: Living as Dead



Thank you my dear friends for your visit and readings! I am happy to say that some freshmen in this lectures and men and women are learning the universal principles through this posting of my lectures based from Unification Principles, philosopies, worldviews and rich experiences. They raised their questions and made clarifications though YM with me too.

One question was: How about those who have commited sexual sins? Are they dead and no more chance to be back or to live with God? Another one was a case: A husband made a sexual affair with another woman and later talked with his wife about it. The wife simply accepted her husband and was not angry. No fight or quarrel between them. Was there a sin committed by a husband?

In the news recently, child abuses made by the Catholic priests cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, a lot of money from the churchgoers. Are the sexually abusive priests and other religious clerics dead or alive in the eyes of God?

The government offered advises and orientations to immigrant workers (OFW) on safe sex. The government is fully aware on the sexual activities of the immigrants outside and far from their families. That is immorality. Yet they only offer the advises of using condoms and other safe sex measures. Are there no preventions on immoralities but mere prevention on acquiring HIV and other sexual diseases that the government would do to their taxpayers?

God is love. It is from His love that life exist, the world, man and the rest of living creations.

But man's separation from God when the first man and woman disobeyed the commandment not to eat nor touch the forbidden fruit, made man's lineage shifted to tha false lineage, Hence man is dead in the lineage of God. But God's plan is absolute. God wants to restore his creations back to his oiginal plan. Hence there was a providential stage by stage restoration of humanity. We can see and trace that along the lines of history.

Going to the questions, man who committed sexual sins are "dead" in the lineage of God. But man can repent of his mistake, confess to God and His representative in the providence and offer indemnity conditions to make up his faith and oneness with God. This will be further elaborated in the Principle of restoration. In the law of commerce, damages or anything lost along the way in the business should be indemnified. Just like on guaranteed products. Payment for what was lost or damaged is called indemnity. If man has damaged the lineage as planned by the Creator, then, man should pay for that. In a sense, man who committed the sexual sins, should offer indemnity conditions for them to be engrafted back to God first by establishing again their faith to Him through their offerings, prayers of repentance and forgiveness of their sins.

We can remember the story of the adulterous woman caught in the act by the Jewish people in the gospel. They brought her to the teacher Jesus and asked him on what to do with the woman. As if the Jewish people was also testing Jesus that time if he was for the Jewish law to stone to death anybody caught in adulterous act. After a moment of reflecting Jesus replied and said that who ever is pure and have not committed any sin can throw the first stone to the adulterous woman. There was silence. And after a while, stones from the hands of the angry Jewish people began to drop to the ground and they disappeared. The woman was shaking on the ground looking to her possible death. In her mind was the repentance and a looking for a chance to surive. When all the Jewish people left, Jesus said to the woman, " Stand! Go and sin no more."

The heart of forgiveness is love. Parent of mankind has that love. But man as sinful children should do his part to repent and pray for another chance to live with Him.

The case of the wife who after hearing or knowing that her husband committed a sexual sin but simply accepted her husbnad back to their family is analytical. It can be possible that the wife has not valued much the morality and fidelity. Wife should know the consequence of sexual sin. It is death from God's lineage. It menas that her children too will no longer be in the lineage of God i f the father has fallen. It maybe that the wife was so forgiving as well. But forgiveness is not enough. There should be payment of what was lost, or else, the sin could be repeated by the husband having a precedent that his wife could simply accept him. Jesus didnot say no stoning. He said, "whoever have not committed the sin can throw hte first stone." In a sense, there should be indemnity by the person. Stand! Go and sin no more. Man should stand up again an sin no more; meaning after the fall, man should make a new beginning and be one with God.

Sexually abusive priests are men. Their bodies was designed by God just like ordinary man. They also have the instinct of having sexual desires. Yet, in their modern vows, they are made to pledge to keep their chastity as a condtion of their faith and marriage to the central figure of the church.

In a principle point of view, chastity is a condition to pay the lost life due to the fall of man. But that is only a symbolic condition to keep their faith. Once the faith has reconnected man to God, then action and substantialization of faith is necessary. Faith without action id dead as said in the gospel. In a sense, chastity after a period of time should have made the purification of man and open a new door for man to be blessed to multiply God's lineage by having children of goodness and righteousness.

Priests may have spent a long time of purification in their chastity. They too should be blessed to have the lineage of God, substantiated to and by having their own children. Hence, their sexual desires is just normal and should be addressed by the church by allowing them to be blessed with a spouse. The church has no solution on this child abuse by the clerics. Money of the churchgoers are shifted for settlement and fines. That is not an absolute solution on the sexual needs of the clerics as man. Marry and bless priests, now! This was the cry of Archibishop Milingo.

The government has several agencies to address immorality. Education, Social Welfare, PCGG and the like. Even each insitution has its local policies to keep a standard form of morality in their insitution. Legislators too are trying to bridge the church policies in their deliberations and passing of the bills like the reproduction bills, abortion cases and so on.

But there is no clear program in the government to address the pain of sexual sins. Life imprisonment for rapes does not stop man to rape. Teaching immigrnats to use condoms and other safe sex measures do not solve sexual immorality but even sides the growing family breakdwowns among OFWs as mentioned by the Episcopal Commission for Migrants Workers of CBPC. A new expression of Truth should heal this ancestral wound of sexual sins.

Truth usually hurts. Like a medical surgery, there is pain on the process and healing period. Scars even remained. In like manner, Truth is painful but it does not mean to hurt but to offer a solution, to make a change from sinfulness to righteousness. As Fr. Jerry Orbos said, "There are times when love hurts, must hurt, if only to bring forth greater love".

Love, live and the lineage of God should be kept by man!

(This article is wirtten by Dr. Cadano. To use or copy this needs permission from him. Comments and questions are welcome for healthy discussion.)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage: issues on relationships





Dear Friends and Buddies,

I felt energized to write for more after I received some comments from you. Although I have a purpose and mission as I begun this writings, your being with me in this e-evangelization gives me a sign of a healthy start and thus, proceed. Thank you for being with me along the way.

I am geared to talk about the various issues on relationships in the real world and offer some advise on how to avoid if not solve their cases.

One former student of mine who graduated already became successful in his career as a seaman. When we met again in the college when he visited his alma mater, he shared his then fresh experiences in his life aboard the ship.

When they were docked somewhere in Mexico, he noticed that there were many prostitutes aboard the docked ship. Keeping his faith to morality, he went to his cabin to isolate himself. Nevertheless, he later noticed that someone was opening his cabin and a Mexican prostitute came in, using a master key. The seaman was cornered and soon “raped” and was later asked for money in return.

It may be a different angle of the common stories that seamen were used to buy port-partners when their ship was in the prot or docked. Seamen call them for temporary happiness through sexual release. Married seamen are often called by his wife as “seaman-loloko”.

I asked my student if he was happy in his life as a seaman. He said, he was satisfied with the salary but not on the eventual ”happenings” and immoralities in the port. He said, his conscience stike him always. I then advised him to shift to a better job where he is safe and free to meet his goal in life. It is not only money that matters in the long run. Today, I learned that the seaman has his own electronics and computer shop, blessed and married and have two children. He has his own time to manage his own entrepreneur business freely.

Fatherless children

As I too was on my first months here in Japan, my nihonggo classmate was a teenager in his sixteen. He was a son of a single-mother “japayuki” who later got married to a Japanese. He was also fresh in Japan and has to study nihonggo like me. I invited him to listen to my lectures too. He listen to a whole day seminar with his new Filipino friend who has the same status like him. They understood that they were results of the fallen single mothers. They ask me then if they have the right to live with their unplanned existence. They feel that their mother made a mistake and they are by-product of those mistakes. Are they to blame their mother?

I told them, of course, that they are human beings and are citizens on this land. If their mother made a mistake, they have their life now that needs to be face the real world. Blames would not solve but degrade more their life. The thing is, they need to be back to God as the author of life. They have to marcot or engraft their lineage back to God’s lineage. They can do it first by being faithful to God, keep the tradition of being one with God and discover further the moral ways in life. I have not met the two young men as they were enrolled to their high school. I have heard only that they have their sideline job in Mcdonald fastfood in the day-time and study during the night in high school. I know, they have lots of challenges in this new foreign nation like me. Their life is vague but they have to be loved too. I pray for them.

Husband’s “husbandry”

Some husbands I knew also openned up to me. They were mostly my students before in the state university, in my martial arts club who could connect to me through cyberspace. Others, who were near my place in La Union visited me too during my vacation and visits in the Philippines. We have nice sharings.

The problems of the husbands is mostly common. They have one if not two mistresses aside from their own wife. I listened to their stories applying the basic method in psychology: active listening. They said that during their single years after they passed the board and gain their employment, they only court and aim to have a wife. Hence, they got married i ntheir early 20’s. But during their married life, they happen to meet other women. They just greeted these ladies as they met along the way, in their office, in their works and the like. But they were befriended later by the ladies, asked them to join them in their coffee break, to meet each other after the work, to go home together. That made the start of their bonding. Do I have to tell more what happened next?

After listening, I asked them why do they have to bite the sexual hooks of the temptous ladies, when they have already their own wife? Is his wife not a satisfaction for his sexual desire? Is there no healthy sexual relations between them as couples?

There were variety of answers. One husband said that after the birth of his first or second child, he has no sexual activity with his wife. Of course, the wife who just had delivered a baby was still recuperating from the pains after delivering the baby. It takes 2 to three months for them to be healed from. It was mostly that time that the husband was looking for something. And being danced and cordonned by those temptous ladies, they venture sexual life with other partner/s.

Like the seaman who tried to isolate himself from immorality, there were often times that the woman made the first “dance” to attract man. In those times of abstinence for husbands, they know they have their wives, but their sexual desire is just within them. When the time that woman came to him, it became difficult for man/husband to control himself ones the attraction and stimulation are present even if he was aware the woman was not his wife.

In a survey by American study, from teenagers to single adults, man averagely make self-stimutation by doing masturbation in two to three times per week. In like manner, married couples are considered to have healthy sexual relations having an average of three to five sexual activities per week. Less than ten affairs in a year is considered sexlless marriage and unhealthy in that survey.

When I asked individually some husbands, they revealed that they only have an average of once to twice a month affair with his wife. Others have once in two months. The OFW’s have their different stories too. It’s varied that they went back to self-stimulation like when they were still single, or, the left spouse was attracted to a new partner, if not, the OFW has been attracted to a friend where he or she is based. Can you consider that as healthy sexual life? Husband and wife are both needed to make something on this. Or else one may look for another.

Sexual Ethics

The question here is on sexual ethics of the married couples.

There are probable cases that when the husband desires to have sex, his wife is not giving in for him. What is the importance of sex for the married couple then?

Sexual ethics is meant between blessed and married husband and wife. Rev. Fr. Sun Myung Moon in his Sunday sermons often reiterates that husband and wife’s love between each other needs to be maintained whatever circumstance may occur in their married life. Man’s organ is designed for his wife and owned by his wife. In like manner, the wife’s sexual organ is designed for her husband and owned by her husband starting when they are blessed and married. It is only during the sexual activity that husband and wife could become one; the two become one in the image and likeness of the Maker. Thus they become co-maker of God’s children giving a Godly lineage to their children and the next generation..

Sexual abstinence is a big factor resulting to the attitudinal irritation of the spouse. He or she got easily angry on the absence of sexual relations. Because of that, their children are usually scolded and became a spring board of his or their irritations and disappointments.

Being given no chance by his wife to have a healthy sexual relations, man is tempted to find another partner for his temporary happiness, basically unknown from the wife. But when the wife would discover it, the trouble and domestic war begins.

In this sense, wife should also do her part. If she cooks food that is for the family. She do laundry works for the clothes of her children too. But food, clothing, shelter and sex, are prime needs of man. Hence she should not only prepare food, clothings or clean the shelter but also prepare for her husband the right “food” for their bedtime activity including praying to the Creator that she can offer healthy, ethical sexual relation with her husband and/or vis-a-vis.

(This article is originally written by Dr. Cadano. Anybody who wish to copy this is required to ask permission from him. Comments and questios are welcome for healthy discussions.)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Love, Life and Lineage: relations and reality


Dear Friends and buddies,

My first episode yesterday re Love, Life and lineage (LLL): letter of advise to families, was philosophically based and theologically referred. It was the moral situations of families that pushed me to continue this writing to give them e-guidance and references. In my side, I offer this to Him as my way of contributing in the evangelization of Truth and as a teacher, keep my vocation to help people help themselves as well.

I would like to invite you all to join me in going to the real family relationships, the society they lived, and the world in reality and discuss the cause and effect of the problems in the real world..

Many families are experiencing chaotic situations due to to economic struggles, and poor communication between and among them. More than that, the society they lived in now is gearing towards materialism, egoism and daily whispered by news on graft-and-corruption and other immoralities and several cover-ups in the government. It makes their daily start heavy then.

Today, families are struggling in dealing with their responsibilities as conjugal partners, as parents to their growing children, dealings with their neighbors and settling their bills.

The usual scenario of the father is he is kept to serve a company or employer for a living and his time was mostly in there. He got very less time for his family. Mothers too are prone to be servant-like in the house doing care-giving works to the children, daily kitchen works, cleaning routine, doing laundry and policing the grown up children. She could not go to work for a living too like her husband as she became a fulltime parent-laborer in the house. Parenting becomes her 99% focus.

When I asked some couples on how frequent they communicate with each other, most of them have less chance to talk on family matters except on the bills, the kitchen supplies, the school fees and needs of the children. A family vision, dream or plan for the whole family is not tackled. There is no clear direction for the family on where to be, but just simply survive with the daily needs.

Eventually, most fathers applied for OFW contracts and work abroad to meet the needs of his family. Hence, the mother or vis-a-vis, is left to take care of the children. In this situation, the conjugal relationship of the couples is shelved. No night affairs for a year or two. Would that be healthy for both? Hmmmmm! Husband, as a married couple, is it okay for you to sleep alone without your partner with you at night? Is your mind at peace? How about you Mrs wife? Dont you remember emotional needs during the nights with your partner? The one or two year contracts of the OFW-spouses broke these conjugal relations. And to meet the human desires, some immoral problems occur. Later, family breakdown occur and statistics says, the family breakdown among OFW's is sky-rocketing. The spouse left at home met another partner if not the OFW has found someone with him. This is not a generalization but cases we found among them.

For couples staying their own country, there are still many limitations where immorality is high. Adultery, polygamy, incest, homosexuality and the like are just somewhere around the corner.

In like manner, children are sent to schools with the good support of the parents The OFW has an ace on this as they can sned good financial backing for their children. But OFW-children have no principal teacher in their first school, their home. Parent is the first teacher of their children. Parent is the first partner for his sports activity. Parent is his dual partner in his solo and duet singing. Parent is the first police to give discipline and supervise the children. Parent is the first priest of the children to let the children know and recognized the Almighty Parent of humankind. But the absence of the OFW-parent made all these educational courses a failure! Hence, children are illiterate in their first school of learning on what is love and life.

In like manner, normal children who are with their parents are not enrolled in their first home. Parents donot act as teacher. They only bring them to their second teacher in public or private schools. Parents donot usually offer family time with their children but have time on drinking spree or shopping desires. They leave it all to their yaya's or lola's and the children could not realize the importance of family values and culture.

How did all these things happen? Let us look first on the couples.

The supposed to be first father and mother of man named Adam and Eve, were to grow and develop first to their maturity. Their goal is to be perfect, be fruitful individuals. Their education while growing was necessary and a pre-requisite for their next course to make a family. Their First Teacher, God, gave them a direction (others called it a test. Was it really? not to eat the fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or else they will die. Human history in the first book, Genesis 2:27 said that man could eat anything in the garden except the forbidden fruit while they were studying the course of life in their Garden of Eden school. But the first lady disobeyed the direction of their Teacher. She was tempted to eat the fruit by another being and ate the forbidden fruit together. She passed it to her classmate, the growing man and they also ate it togehter for the second time. When their Teacher God learned about it, they were thrown away from the Garden of Eden school. They felt so ashamed of their mistakes and cover their private parts with fig leaves. Adam and Eve fall and left. Thus, the unplanned and false lineage came to exist.

No parent would ever test his children by putting an aromatic bread on the table and say not to eat a bread on the table because there is a poison in there and will cause their death. In like manner, God did not test Adam and Eve with a mere fruit.

They were pure and naked while they were in the Garden of Eden. But after they ate the fruit, they were so ashamed to face God and cover their private parts with fig leaves. It is our human nature to hide or conceal parts of our bodies that committed a mistake or has some dirt on it.We hide them from our parents, teachers, friends or supervisors. If you hold something forbidden, you hide your hands. If you are eating a food not yours and was caught, you cover your mouth. Right? Our conscience dictate that it was a mistake. So man hide it.

In like manner, the eating of the forbidden fruit which made Adam and Eve hide their sexual parts was an immoral untimely sexual act. God prohibited man not to engage to sexual contacts before they are blessed and multiply their family. Man has to keep his purity before their holy marriage and blessing. That was the reason why Adam and Eve were so ashamed when God learned about their pre-marital sexual activity. That was the origin of sin of man leading man to his "death" or separation from the source of life, Creator. Is a a forbidden fruit worth more than life? It is the purity and integrity of man which can equate life.

If we understood the root cause of the fall of man, we can easily understand why man is so dominated by selfishness or egoism; why man covet his neighbors; why man is so greedy and the like. It is not food or clothing or shelter but sex always become uncontrollable in man. It is the root cause why from the early age in their puberty, teenagers are prone to pornography, untimely marriage, teenage pregnancy, rape, molestation, homosexual activities, unwanted children, abortion and the like. Man inherited these odds from the origin of sin.

Issues even inside the church are getting heavier as seen in the media and reality. Have you heard of the recent Catholic nun in India who revealed after she left from her vow, the immoralities inside the convent involving lesbianism and priests? the priests' sexual abuses in America and even in the Philippines? the open gay archbishop making divisions in the protestant churches? These are current unresolved cases even in the religious communities. Sex is seen as uncontrollable by man who never understood the ideals of the three blessings and purpose of life.

Even in the Muslim faith, circumcision was a religious ritual to purify the sexual organ of man, sheding blood from his sex organ to pay the lost life called death when man committed the first sin. Filipinos practiced that since. But boys going to circumcision by now mostly during summer time no longer know the significance of "tuli" or circumcision but just bring his courage to be circumcized and soon proud to be considered as already a young adult.

That was the cause of these past and present immoralities. It just multiply to more selfishness going further to robbery, fightings, tribal wars, killings and gang rapes, adultery and other traumatic experiences and holocaust.

Man's connection to His Creator, the strengthening of man's faith is a basic thing to reverse this unplanned reality. You can trace how man tried to go back to God from Noah's family to Abrham's family to Moses and the Israelite tribes or nation. Even the Mosaic law clearly says not to covet thy neighbors or commit adultery. Thus, correcting the old sin.

Our real world today is so blind enough to understand all these. They even fight for same-sex marriage forgetting that even the unsolved global aids problem started or traced from homosexual relationship.

(This article is originally written by Dr. Cadano with a purpose. Permission to copy this is required. Comments are welcome for discussion purposes.)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Life in Japan and Haran




Living in Japan sounds a dream to most Filipinos. For old Filipinos, hearing the word Japanese is a mix-up of hatred, war, comfort women, hukbalahap, and other memoirs during the WWII.

As I was blessed to a Japanese wife, I look more on the cross-cultural climate that we would have. I got a chance too to look on our history with the Japanese during the war.

My late father told me that Japanese soldiers landed on the shore in Bauang, La Union and happen to make their camp just at the back where the house of his grandparent was. It was just a stone-throw away he said. They have to run to the nearby mountain for a refuge the time. He remembered that his mother with his grand mother had to go down back to their house during night time to get some food stuffs left in their shanties.

One late afternoon, they noticed that Japanese soldiers were most if not all lying down on the grasses. They discovered that the soldiers ate the fruit of the tuba-tuba as they thought is was a good fruit to eat. The soldiers suffered diarrhea the time because of that. That was more than 55 years ago.

Since 2005, my almost 4 years of stay in Japan was not that favorable.

My first year here was much of sacrifices living in an old apartment far from technology. We had a poor toilet room there with no toilet chair nor a flush. The hole is direct to the ground hole. One time that we have our visitor, she changed her mind to sleep to another place instead of staying in our apartment because of that old toilet. I could not get a job for employment and for a living because of language barrier. So I have to go to a Japanese language school offered by the city government. For more than six months, I was just a mere language student, a spouse of a Japanese wife and a no-income father of 5 children struggling to learn their new tongue.

My wife was a part-time worker at the time. I remembered that when she buy a pair of bananas, she have to slice both by three to make six. Enough for them. Sometimes, the unlucky 6th has to be slice again to half to make seven for all of us.

As I met some Filipinos during my first months in Japan, I got a chance to be informed of a technical job painting house roofs located one hour north of where we stay. I took that chance. I found my self on top of house roofs during day time doing hte cleaning of the roofs before my boss will do the actual painting. I have to use a pressured water-hose to smash rusts and dirts on the metal roofs before we do the painting. The big powered-water-hose was strong enough that once it is not hold properly, it can force your hands out the hose and smash you down the roof.

I was so happy to hand to my wife my first yen bill wage after a week. But that was just for two weeks. Later, I found myself inside an mini-theater type night club which was about to open. I was first doing clerical works for the company, but later I was their waiter, janitor, snow-shoveler to clear the parking space and road, and the like. After a month, I was again on the street looking for another possible living.

After my wife's application to rent a government housing, I asked my wife to consider having an Internet in that new government apartment. And only there that I could find myself browsing for possible job. I got a luck after several applications I made. A school needs a curriculum developer which was one of my MA courses before in PSU Urdaneta. The job was good for me but the office environment and medium made me deaf and isolated from the world for more than two years. Working with nobody to talk to is not a normal routine for an office employee. As I was working on English curriculum, all my companions are nihongo speaking and have nothing about English. My nihongo lessons too were all overshadowed by the bulks of my English materials and works the time.

As I tried taking care of my growing children, they have adopted the new environment and could fastly flow to the nihongo worlds as they are completely into it during school time and with their mother in our apartment. More that when they go to nihongo tutorial classes after their normal class, the more that they are into it. Moreover, their friends and weekend companions in their ball games helped them to be emerged in it.

After my three years in curriculum development was over, I got a chance to find a new job as ALT teacher and part time conversation-class teacher in the evening to professionals wanting to learn more on English conversation. However, my world was so limited in teaching English and almost nothing more. Fellow teachers don't speak in English. English classes are taught in nihongo explanations.

At home, I have nobody to talk to when my wife would talk to our children in nihongo. I just put my self to the house chores from laundry, cleaning, garbage disposal, kitchen chore and the like. Sometimes, I found myself venturing more into the garbage houses looking on what were those condemned and thrown materials that can still be adopted or recycled. I found a little fun to those I can restore from it. In a way, there are something in it that still can serve a purpose. There are old chairs, cabinet, pillows, blankets, bedding's, plates, used clothing, curtains and the like. Hence, recycle or restoration. Washing and ironing are basic ways before using them as God's creations.

Nowadays, Japan is in recession. Many foreigners are being laid-off from job. As they were employed, they don't have the regular benefits that the Japanese get from their employers. When there is retrenchment, the foreigners were the one being laid off first. Par time jobs were also hard to get even now. ALT teachers too are out from their work as the school year is about to end. Belt-tightening is the mode since last year to most Filipinos in Japan. Yet, their extended families in the Philippines, their friends, their sponsored scholars, their churches and organizations believed that they are great donors and rich sponsors.

My family too has been suffering and is also affected. Since December 26, we experienced eating rice meal only once a day. The rest are mostly noodles as part of belt-tightening. Thanks to some friends who offer some kilograms of rice. It made me became a like a beggar.

As I am in my fourth year in Japan, I still could not make direct complete nihongo sentence to play their tongue here. Sorry for that. My psycho motor is not that aggressive and active as before. I still am struggling to have an ace in their tongue. It means, I have poor conversation still with the Japanese, the store tellers, the bus drivers, the neighbors and others. In the school, my medium is English as it is the subject I am teaching. Off the class, when I try practicing my nihongo, students answer me the foul. I ask the name of the food and they give me the name of a baseball player with their laughs. I ask my wife the name of the flower and she usually just give me the "shiranai" reply meaning I dont know!

I saw myself in a bookstore. All the stuffs are in nihongo. English books are the review books for TOEC and STEP tests and nothing more.

Look for a job. The information you will get is in nihongo. Go and travel. The driver, the map, the route tags are in nihongo. I decided to walk and let nature satisfy my travel. Several times I go to a hospital for a check up and the doctors would talk to me in nihongo. The medicines are in nihongo too. Did I get the right medicine for my sickness? What shall I do?

I remember having a counselling with an old Japanese adviser. She first listen to my wife and they have their exchanges, compassion and understanding. She favored her fellow Japanese in front of me. The next talk, she talked to me privately and favored me in the absence of my wife. That was a Japanese way. It does not meet two points but created two directions.

Jacob went to Haran and stayed there for three 7 years in three courses, a total of 21 years. Jacob's first seven year course is so sacrificial to be a servant in his uncle's place. I am wondering it I too will have the same course in my stay in Japan with my family still trying to adopt the culture, the language, the education, as I am struggling to look for my freedom, my stability, my way to fulfill a life-mission and the fulfillment of true love and life with His lineage.

Four years and I still am to look for the next three years for my 7-year course in Japan, my Haran. Do I have to make a seven-year life course in Japan like Jacob in Haran?