Father, Son and the Spirit Between

This is a set of father-son stories of a few families. They vary but it has one common denominator.

An OFW-father wrote to me on his sadness. He could not see nor touch his son when after few months from birth, the baby ascended to the other world. There was no chance for the father to see his baby directly or personally. This is because of the yearly month-long vacation provided to OFW's by most of the companies. Ans as the father just have a few chance to visit and be with his wife, then the wife is left again pregnant while the husband goes back to the other country to work. The baby was born without the father. Unfortunately, the baby died while the father is still under a contract outside the country.

Another story was from a son, shared to me by the mother. His father is also an OFW. Incidentally, the son have seen a friendster homepage where he saw a picture of his father with another woman. He showed it to his mother and asked who was that woman beside his father? I got a chance to communicate with the father of the son. He told me he will solve the problem very soon.

It is one essential problem of OFW's, the breakdown of a family unit. Called as hero by the Philippine government but known as family provider by the son and not as a loving father.

The third story was from a father who discovered just recently that his three-year old son who still could not speak, is autistic. The case of the autistic son was referred to specialist and the baby boy was recommended to a rehabilitation program of autistic children. Each session for the rehabilitation costs P2,500. It means, that if there will be once a week session, that will cost P10,000 per month for the working father. P20,000 if there will be two sessions per week for the baby's rehabilitation.

The father brought his emotion to me and asked me, "why his son? why that way?"

Moreover, there is a father who truly aim to have a son with his wife. After several medical consultation and technological trials, they could not make it. Until one day, a couple offered them a baby to be adopted without any cost. They were so happy to accept the baby. Rumors spread about the baby in the neighborhood. They are bothered if the time comes when the baby will discover his real life.

I also have my story being an epileptic son. I was already 18 years old when I discover that I am epileptic. It happened when I got a seizure and I fall to a concrete wall which made my two front-teeth broken. I was brought to the doctor due to my broken teeth. But only my sister helped me to have a neurological check-up to diagnose why that seizure happen. She even paid for my check up and EEG as I remember. And the neurologist told me about my case. It was positive.

Should I blame my father or mother why I was born with epilepsy?

I never blame anybody on my case. I tried researching where I inherited that genes but not to blame my ancestor.

There were many opportunities in my life that I could not enjoy because of my case. To have a girlfriend is difficult if she will know that the man courting her is epileptic. Even to get a driver's license is so difficult. Even to apply for an international marriage is questioned on my health case. To get a driver's license and a job abroad too is almost impossible because of the E case. The daily reliever-tablet is getting expensive year after year and I have to use it in my lifetime. It affects one's memory as well. What shall I do?

I have to live my life. No blames. I have to move forward and disregard the seizures. It is part of my life anyway.

The common denominator in the story is the relationship between the father and son. Both have to be good, understand and relate to each other. If there is a problem with one, both can talk to make their spirit supportive to one another. No one should blame the other. History is history. Past is past. But there is a long road still to venture in the future. It is time to move forward and not to be hindered by health, stories or any social problem.

Sometimes, money is needed to cross a bridge along the way. But money should not stop one to move forward. If there is a will there is a way. When there is an end, it is best if one met his end with all his efforts to move forward but never surrender on the road of life.