Reflection (Pagbabalik-tanaw)

Here is a quotation, "There are two ways for forces, first is to push one down, and second is to push one up."

I agree that one's attitude is a major factor to one's character. This is an inner aspect in personality development.

In emailing, there are many times that you are not answered but ignored. How do you feel? Perhaps they have not read the mail immediately. For Filipinos, only still a few have their own Internet connection. Forgive them. But if you know that the person you emailed has his own Internet, that he is currently online and still he does not answer you, the case is so different. There maybe a problem between. If not due to a virus, you or he is a virus to one.

The farmers who walked for almost 2 months from Mindanao to Malacanang to send their petition and to re-claim their hectares of land already awarded to them via agrarian reform law but later nullified by the SC because of a proposed development plan of an elite corporation, were never welcomed to go inside Malacanang palace to send their message directly to the office of the president. It was so embarrassing to me as a Filipino. Is it because they cannot guarantee to the farmers that they can have their land back that they were ignored? or security? or is it because that they are just poor and dirty farmers?

I experienced several cases where in my mind, I have reached a certain level and I thought that I was a person capable and qualified to say and claim that I already have enough foundation to reach that high level of leadership. But I was wrong.

One case was about matching and blessing.

I as one of the pioneers of several centers and missionary works in the Philippines was accustomed to be matched and receive the blessing. Three Blessing ceremonies passed in a decade (1980's). My 3 spiritual children and other grand children received the blessing. My members from those centers I pioneered too got the blessing. I was spared. The worst to me was my higher leader never informed me that there was a blessing. I was giving a 7-day seminar-workshop on top of a mountain resort to students and civic leaders at that time and only when I went down after the exhaustive workshop that I knew that the Blessing was over in South Korea. I was told by a confidante to rush to HQ and check my status. With the help of an NGO and the AFP, I got a chance to aboard a C130 airforce plane and reached Manila after a couple of hours. When I arrived at HQ, there were very few persons in there. Most are still in Korea and the National Director was still not around but was just in Manila.

I waited while helping clean the sorroundings. When a car beeped from outside, I checked the gate opened by the guard. I noticed the couple of the National Director who saw me. The car stopped and did not proceed inside. The couple talked for a while and the wife unloaded herself from the car and went to me. The ND u-turned his car. There was no word when the ND's wife ushered me to go inside their car. The ND drove the car back to their apartment.

At their place, they entertained me and talked on no-business matters but on things that they know will help me forget the blessing. They prepared foods and asked me to eat. They joined me. After maybe an hour of exchanges, we went back to HQ. They proceeded to their works and I was given no direction, but was said to feel at home in HQ.

Only on the 5th blessing and 12 years after since I was told to fill-up my blessing form that I got a blessing.

The bottomline of this experience was the national leader went down below me and pushed me up during those moments of unrest. But when my higher leader failed to even just notify me that there was a blessing, even if I was not included in that blessing order, that attitude pushed me so down to real risk. These are too attitudes of two leaders which has greatly affected my character now.

Maybe, the secretary in Malacanang, should just have done what the natl leader offered to me before: treat the farmers parentally and not to threat them as a general with police and arms. The same too with the monks in Myanmar.

Unless an email/er is a "virus" to my pc, I wont reply but delete that email or text message he/she is sending to me. I loved placing myself below and learn more about humility and humbleness that if I cant push somebody up there, no one below me can be pushed far below on relative critical moments.